Oh, BABY!

Yes, it's true - I'm housing a tiny human in my uterus! To save everyone some time, I have compiled the following list of answers that I am getting very accustomed to repeating. If I have missed anything that you are dying to know, please leave your question(s) in the comments below and I will do my best to answer them.

 

1. I'm just over 4 months - due January 10th, 2016, but we are shooting for the 1st baby of the New Year so we can get a bunch of free crap.

 

2. We are going to find out the sex of the baby, and we will be sharing that news with everyone once we know, in approximately 4 more weeks.

   

3. Yes, we already have names picked out for whichever flavor of baby we get, but no, we will not be sharing the name until it is legally scribed onto a birth certificate. Place your bets now!

      3a. We are choosing not to share the name because we have seen countless family and friends share their baby name early, and then they had to deal with 11,000 opinions of why they shouldn't give their kid whatever name they had thoughtfully chosen.

 

4. I've felt great! And by 'great', I mean that I have been dreadfully sick EVERY SINGLE DAY for over 10 weeks. Whoever created the term 'morning sickness' (a man, of this I am certain), should be shot every time a pregnant woman pukes after 12:01pm. I do have medicine that helps some, but so far, I have lost weight due to the excessive sickness. Pretty attractive silver lining, if you ask me! This has been a tough one for me to answer, because I know that there are thousands of women who would LOVE to trade me places, so I mostly just lie about how miserable I have felt for the first 4 months for the ease of conversation.

 

5. Ryan has been amazing! From sitting with me in the hospital as I was being pumped full of THREE bags of fluid - while our entire basement was under water, to running to get me whatever food I casually mention sounds good, to rubbing my back when Baby Sloan decides that is their favorite place to play, he has been nothing short of wonderful.

 

6. Things I have craved: cheese balls, Taco Bell quesadillas, crab legs, bagels, and sushi.

 

7. Things I can actually keep down: crab legs, Otter pops, 1 bagel, and sushi. Before you start yelling at me about poisoning my baby with mercury (thanks again, jerkface lady at the sushi place), I called my OB before I ate it, and she gave a resounding vote of YES! In fact, short of an entire pack of cigarettes chased by an entire bottle of tequila, each OB I have seen (or called crying at 4:30am halfway through a bowl of grapes because I read online that grapes can cause kidney failure/gills/certain death for my baby) has told me to eat whatever I can keep down.

 

8. I have felt the baby moving around, despite people telling me that I haven't. It feels like I have a popcorn factory in my uterus, with a worker who only occasionally decides to be a productive member of society and pop any popcorn. When not making (presumably) butter flavored popped corn inside of my baby housing organs, he or she spends most of their free time bouncing on and off of my sciatic nerve. 100% certain it's a baby and not a gas bubble.

 

9. Because I am a hot mess and so sick, we have had the benefit of several ultrasounds and getting to see Baby Sloan floating around in there much more often than we would have if this were a 'typical' pregnancy. Pretty cool experience! One of my doctors even caught a wave on camera and told us that we have a very friendly child. They tried to let us hear the heartbeat, but because my heart races so high all the time, they couldn't tell if it was baby's or mine (my heart rate is THAT high!). But whoever the owner of the very rapid heart rate was that day, they have a strong ticker. 

 

10. Things that have made me cry, thanks to my raging hormones: Long John Silver's (sad tears), New Kids on the Block getting a star on the Hollywood walk of fame (happy tears), and gay marriage being legalized in all 50 states (also happy tears). Pretty sure I am growing my twin, albeit partially from 1997 - a pescatarian liberal who appreciates the finer musical stylings of Boy Bands.