My husband is the quintessential creative mind. That man, at any given moment, may have no clue where his keys, wallet, or phone are (hint: all different, but equally peculiar places), but he can hear a song for the first time, pick up a guitar, and play it perfectly. This is why it was no surprise to me when he lost his glasses 3 weeks after getting them. That was 8 months ago.
We searched high and low for those glasses that I was sure would turn up during our recent move, but they did not. We’ve found the case, and we’ve looked in the most ridiculous of places…under the bathroom sink, in the trunk of the car, Clark’s toybox…EVERYWHERE.
Since we are approaching the 1 year anniversary of him getting glasses, we have sort of given up on the hunt and filled our time looking for all of the other things of his that he misplaces. The most recent hunt was for his wallet. For Christmas, I bought him a key finder that seems to work really well (and has already paid for itself in time that we would have lost looking), but his wallet has no such beeping GPS.
Around day 10 of the hunt for his wallet, he grew tired of having no driver’s license and no access to his money, so he gave up the fight and cancelled his cards…a GUARANTEED way to find your wallet. Clark and I were sitting in our recliner sharing a granola bar one day when our dumb dog did something that I can’t even recall (but I assure you, it was dumb) that required me to toss Clark and the granola bar aside to come to the dog’s rescue. When whatever it was had been handled (Olivia Pope style), I scooped Clark up and looked around for the other half of our granola bar.
Our furniture is notorious for eating our things – if I had every moment that I’ve ever spent sticking my hands down the sides or flipping it over and pulling the flap to release an avalanche of socks, pens, phones, the remote, and any other puzzling object, I could probably rule the world by now. So, I sat down, reached my right hand down the side of the chair as I had done a million times before, and pulled out Ryan’s wallet full of canceled cards, but the other half of the granola bar was nowhere to be found.
Our dog may be dumb, but she is very food motivated. She can smell a crumb of food under a table, and will incessantly sniff as loud as possible, for whatever length of time it takes for you to get up, move the chair, and let her under. So we figured that the missing snack was probably under the chair and that Mia would have it found in no time. We give her so much credit that isn’t due.
WEEKS went by, and aside from the occasional ‘where in the world?!’ thought, I didn’t devote much of my time to the granola bar mystery. Last week, Clark was missing one of his bowling pins and was becoming increasingly desperate to find it. I got up, flipped the chair over and heard a clank that sounded like keys. Knowing that it couldn’t possibly be keys because ours were accounted for, and knowing that my T-Rex arms couldn’t reach to the bottom, I asked Ryan to come fish out whatever it was I heard. He reached into the inner workings of the couch, and said ‘I feel a lot of things, but not sure what any of them ---‘ and then burst out laughing while he held his GLASSES in his hand. And half of a granola bar. And a bowling pin. And socks.
And in true fashion with the kind of luck that man has, even after residing IN OUR CHAIR for over half a year, they didn’t have a single scratch on them! So, now that he can see clearly, I’m going to have to start wearing makeup again. Doesn’t he look like the cutest, most studious lumberjack you’ve ever seen?
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