Is She Fat or Pregnant?

The short answer is: yes.
While nobody has brought this up within my hearing range, I see it on the faces of strangers and acquaintances alike. Their glances turn to stares when they see my burgeoning belly, and the moment we make eye contact, their eyes quickly dart away until my head is turned. I know what they are thinking, because I have thought it many times, too - "I think that lady is pregnant, but it's also feasible that she just ate a burrito the size of a small child for dinner."

 

I've done my best to throw onlookers a bone and touch my belly when I feel their glances. I do so partly for them, but mostly for my own assurance to people that I am not 'just' fat. Which is a little bit ridiculous, honestly. Like being fat is the worst thing in the world?! Can we all just agree that 1.) it doesn't matter what size you are, and 2.) it REALLY doesn't matter why?? Let's worry a little more about not being jerkfaces to each other, and a little less about why someone is or isn't a size 0.

 

Anywho, there is something about the possibility of a woman being knocked up that sends strangers into a frenzy. Since I have been pregnant, nobody has directly asked me about the cause of my expanding waistline (though I was directly asked one time when I definitely wasn't pregnant. Life is cruel). But I can certainly see the question begging to be answered on their faces.

 

In full disclosure, I can see why they have the question in the first place. I literally send Ryan to the store weekly (read: daily) to stock up on boxes and boxes of Magnums - the ice cream bars, not the condoms...obviously. And I have no shame in getting 3 (if you saw me, have some mercy and just agree that it was 3 and not 5, okay?) GIANT plates of crab legs at the all you can eat buffet. My breakfast every morning this week has been a S'mores drumstick and toast with tomatoes - dairy, carbs, grains, and fruit...totally counts as well balanced, by the way. Tonight, I nearly licked my plate clean at the Mexican restaurant after finishing off an enchilada, rice, chips and salsa, and an appetizer thrown in for good measure.

Our baby is the size of an onion (gross!), and I am so hungry all day long that an onion is nearly the only food in the world that I won't eat. Because I've been so sick, I have enjoyed the luxury of stuffing my face hourly and losing weight throughout this pregnancy - I know. I would hate me, too. Sorry. I also know that I mentioned this very thing in my last blog post, but this is the ONE time in my life where I haven't gained weight just by looking at food. Let me celebrate this!

I have a few more things to say on this topic, but it's been like an hour since my last meal and if I don't have an overpriced double caramel frozen treat in the next 7 seconds, I will die. Plus, Ryan has another store trip to make...we're down to 3 boxes of ice cream bars.