Kids Say the Darndest Things

People say that you will always get an honest answer out of a kid. There's some serious truth to that - kids don't understand social norms and what might be hurtful, misconstrued, or inappropriate. They just say whatever comes to those growing brains of theirs. And while it is sometimes embarrassing for their parents, it is a quality that I deeply envy, and I think it's often beautiful.

These tiny humans understand things like love, forgiveness, and truth that we adults seem to learn to filter over the years. In between the funny, inappropriate, and sometimes mortifying moments, Clark (and others his age) speak such profound wisdom that it stops me in my tracks. 

I am the kind of parent who believes in never burdening little people with the problems of big people, but I am also a truthful parent who wants my child(ren) --- NOT an announcement --- to know that whenever they have a question, that mom is going to tell them the truth. It's a big part of the reason people treat us like criminals because we don't do Santa or the Easter Bunny. I don't want to ever blatantly lie to him.

First, the funny -

My child is completely literal. Being that he is my only child, I don't know if it's just him, or if every child is this cut and dry, but it CRACKS me up. Below are just a couple of recent conversations that highlight this -

1.) The Ins and Outs of Milk

C: Momma, if you mind, can I have a glass of milk?
H: Sure!
C: Fank you.
H: You're welcome. Do you know where we get milk from?
C: *looks at me like I am a moron*
C: Yeah...from the old ladies at the grocery store.

--- True, that is where we get OUR milk. ---

2.) Snake Hunting

*We were watching a show and a family found a live snake in a box in their home.*

H: Clark, what would you do if we had a real, live snake in our house?
C: *shrugs* I don't know...catch it and make it dead.

--- Good point, kid. ---

Next, the inappropriate - 

1.) The Penis Rules 

C: Boys has penis.
H: You are right.
C: I show you my penis?
H: No, that is private.
C: Ohhh. Okay. I just touch my penis?
H: No, not unless you really have to, and if you do, go to the bathroom. Otherwise, leave it alone.
C: *blank stare*
C: *In the middle of the living room, opens his shorts*
H: CLARK! What are you doing?!
C: I'm just looking at it! I CAN look at it, can't I??
H: *Facepalm*

--- It's ALWAYS about a penis with a boy, isn't it? ---

2.) The Old Man at the Swimming Pool

*Ryan and I took Clark swimming, and we had to wait a few minutes in a long line.*

C: *Swinging his arms*
H: Please be careful, you almost hit the people in front of us.
C: Sorry, mom. It was a ass-ident.
H: It's okay, but I don't want you hitting the guy in front of us.
C: BECAUSE HE IS AN OLD MAN?!
H: No, it's just not nice. And don't scream.
C: BUT HE IS AN OLD MAN! (He was like 40, tops)
H: *Frantically trying to change the subject*
H: What do you want to do in the pool?
C: *Pointing*
C: Is dat OLD MAN going to da pool, too?
H: *trying to become invisible while pondering moving 3 states away*

Now, the wise -

It should be no secret to anyone who knows me at all that I am an ally and advocate for LGBTQ+ rights and inclusion. And it is probably also no secret that I am angry, hurt, and disappointed in the United Methodist Church's decisions at the most recent annual conference to continue being a culture of exclusion. It further complicates things that my husband is employed by the United Methodist Church, and he is also very good at that employment and loves being there.

One of the million reasons why I love that man is that he never tries to tell me what to believe, or how to process my emotions. I told him that I couldn't, in good conscience, attend our church for a few weeks or more. I needed time to step away and sift through my broken heart before I could decide my next move. He supported me through that and gave me the space and the time that I needed to heed some great advice that highlighted the fact that nothing changes by abandoning it.

So one Sunday morning about a month after the vote, I told myself and my Lord that I was going to get up, get dressed, and be a part of the change I want to see in the world. Which meant attending the church that I love and continuing to campaign and fight for what I believe Jesus would do.

It was an unusually quiet ride to church, as I was still sorting through everything and pretty nervous to be in attendance after such a long absence. Kids are so dang smart and perceptive. From the backseat, a little voice piped up and this was our conversation -

C: Momma, are you okay?
H: Yes, honey, I am. I'm just sad.
C: Why?
H: Because some people not really at our church, but connected to our church did some things that really hurt my feelings.
C:
C:
C:
C: (in the toughest voice I have heard from him to date) Who did it, Momma?!
--- I think he was ready to defend my honor ---
H: Some people that you don't know.
C: What did dey do?
H: Well, they are being kind of mean to families who have two Daddies or two Mommies (the best way I could explain it to his understanding). You know, like your friend at daycare who has two Daddies?
C: Ohhh, yeah! Dat SO cool!
C: Why are dey being mean?
H: Well, these people don't want families with two Daddies or two Mommies to be able to be a pastor, or to marry each other. And I am sad because I think we should love everyone.
C: I wish I had two Daddies. My Daddy is such a good Daddy, Momma! I wish I had two of my Daddy!

Now, I understand that he is 3 and that he by no means understands the full spectrum of LGBTQ+ issues, nor do I completely understand where his beliefs will lead him, but I DO know that I explained it to him the absolute best way that I could, and that he responded with nothing but love. He was reminded of a family structure that looks different than his family, and he thought it was cool and wished he had two Ryans in his life. Again, that shows that his understanding of the situation has some growing to do, but it also shows that his first instinct is to lead with love. Kids understand that on a deeper level than we give them credit for.

I'm proud of my boy and the way that his brain works. And I am proud that I am raising such a compassionate kid, even if he is a blossoming smartass who calls people old and pays WAY too much attention to his penis.