As the clock ticks closer and closer to D Day, we decided that we better get some of our crap in order. I have the tendency to over prepare, so I have made a conscious effort in this pregnancy to educate myself just enough to feel confident, without researching every possible scenario at painstaking length. We have clothes hung up by size, the diaper genie is assembled and lying in wait, and last week, we took the next step in making this whole process real in our minds: a hospital tour.
We arrived early to scope out the parking/ER drop off lane, knowing that there is a pretty major construction project currently going on at our hospital that has hindered the parking lot. When I worked at a hospital, I always loved checking out the cars next to the Labor & Delivery building, because dads were instructed to 'pull right up to the door and get mom inside - you can officially park later'. I could always tell which vehicles belonged to new parents and which belonged to the old pros, because some cars would parallel very nicely in a calm manner, and others would come to a screeching halt with 2 tires on the curb as dad jumped out, barely getting the car in park in time to run around and usher the mom to be through the doors. At the hospital we will be using, everything is housed in one building, which makes for a much less comical viewing of the parking situation.
Once we found a parking spot, we followed the maze of signs into the hospital and toward the elevators. I find it a little cruel that they make a pregnant woman who is about to give birth trek to the very top floor, but hopefully on that day people will have mercy and get out of my way. Our plan is to labor at home until the absolute last minute that we have to go to the hospital; a strategy that was reinforced by the nurse who gave us the tour.
Upon the elevator doors opening on our floor, we had two options; walk straight into the waiting room, or stay on the elevator. As we would soon learn, accessing anything on that floor other than the waiting room is harder than strolling into the Oval Office uninvited. In fact, each baby is fitted with a house arrest device of sorts and even if it is just bumped the wrong way, the entire floor goes on lockdown - an alarm sounds, stairwell doors lock shut, elevators are stopped in their tracks, and nobody can enter or leave until the cause of the alarm is pinpointed. Our sweet nurse assured us that the devices are incredibly sensitive, so if we hear the alarm sound during our stay, it does not mean that a newborn has been stolen. Either way, it gave us a huge sense of security that something as small as Cletus (how I refer to Baby Sloan - Cletus the Fetus) brushing his leg up against a blanket can send the baby Secret Service into action.
We learned everything about the process - where each stop along the way will be, what will happen, what our options are, and the hospital policies that are enforced. Most of their mandatory policies are centered around visitors. Our nurse even said multiple times, 'I strongly encourage you to think very hard about who you want here with you. Pick people who will be calming. And remember that you can only have 2 people, no exceptions.' I get the impression that they have seen their fair share of bat$#*! crazy guests on that floor...my plan is to try to convince them to tell me some of the worst ones, because that's the kind of person I am. If I succeed, I promise I will share.
One policy that they employ is a 'Golden Hour' where we can get to know our baby without tons of people filing in and out, then after that, I get to eat and shower before they ever move us into the room where we can have visitors. Not that I will be looking glamorous like Princess Kate a few hours after having a human extracted from my body, but it's still nice to know I that won't have to entertain while starving and looking like Nick Nolte's mug shot. After hearing so many horror stories about hospital births, it was refreshing to hear how 'pro mom and dad' this one is.
Oh, and their birth plans --- music to this planner's ears! Everything you can think of (and so much more that you would have never thought to specify!) - from whether they can or can't offer our baby a pacifier, to what I want to wear, to what role my baby daddy wants to play are all covered in that sucker...plus more! Our OB's office had us fill one out and the hospital will receive and review it before we ever arrive so that our medical team is on the same page and doesn't have to burden us with a thousand questions. That alone was enough to put me at ease about the whole process. As someone who doesn't do well with surprises, I appreciate that they covered every single 'what if' scenario so that we know what to expect even if things don't go exactly according to plan.
Now, all that's left to do is have a baby! Oh, and install the car seat. And assemble the bassinet. And pack our bags. Okay, now we're freaking out again.
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