Wormy Wednesday

Full disclosure: This has nothing to do with my baby, but if you’re good and pay attention to my story, I will reward you with some pictures.

My Wednesday started out like any other.  My dear, sweet, kind, smart, caring husband who I love ONLY parks at the bottom of the driveway, so no other cars (e.g. mine) can also use said driveway. I am working on being more go-with-the flow, so I happily parked by the sidewalk in front of the house.

Spring in Iowa means that it will rain for 17 days straight and create mud EVERYWHERE. So I trudged through the mud and made it to my car only to realize that I had parked directly under our tree, and there were saplings and sap engulfing my vehicle. Determined to keep my good attitude, I decided to run it through the car wash at my local gas station.

I get to the gas station, pay for the car wash, enter the car wash, run over the curb while leaving the car wash, and park up front so I can go get some caffeine and a snack. Find said things, pay, return to my car, and drive to my office.

Once at my desk, I start my day by answering emails, returning calls, and working on any unfinished projects. 40 minutes into my day, I realize that my left ankle is slightly uncomfortable, scoot back from my desk, and notice I have something cold, wet, and stringy on my ankle reaching all the way up to roughly mid-calf. Approximately 5 seconds into picking it off my leg and examining it, I realize that it looks a lot like a worm. Like, a LOT like a worm. A dead, cold, slimy, cut in half worm and worm guts were on my leg for at least an hour!

So with my own real-life horror story told, here is the story once again, as told through the many faces of Clark:

How I felt when I realized there was a worm on my leg:

How I felt while touching the worm & worm guts:

How I felt after removing a worm from my leg and realizing that I am a SURVIVOR:

Clark is...a lot older than he was in my last post!

Man. Work-life balance is a little trickier than I expected. I am learning that being a mom means being perpetually guilt-ridden. I feel guilty that I work,  I feel guilty when I have to miss work because he is sick, I feel guilty that I am exhausted when I get home during the week, I feel guilty that I haven’t posted a blog update in six months, and I feel guilty for feeling guilty.

I am juggling a full-time job, a marriage, keeping a dog alive, and trying to be enough of a super mom that my 1 year old knows that I am in fact his mom, and not his daycare provider. That crap is hard. Like, really hard. I went back to work 11 days after he was born. I was judged as a poor employee because I took so ‘long’ to return, and I was judged by people outside of work for returning too quickly. How, exactly, is a mom supposed to win here?

Aside from my society’s-pressure-to-be-perfect rant, in the last six months, you have also missed my adorable, genius of a baby’s crazy fast developments. We now have a full-on walking, talking toddler. He had a super fun birthday party where he ate Olive Garden, stuck his hand in his beautiful cake during a photo op, and opened presents that we asked people not to bring. Aunt Tammy won the trivia game that was all about Clark, and she gave me the Starbucks gift card that was her prize (this was my plan the whole time, and it came together beautifully!).

He went on his first plane ride to Las Vegas, and did remarkably well. Mom and dad learned that literally the ONLY place on earth where we don't get stopped and told how adorable our small child is, turns out to be the airport. People give you the stink eye and say a prayer that you are on any other flight but theirs.

He now spends his days walking around the house, stealing our phones, saying all sorts of words, and signing others. Among his favorite words to vocalize are: dog, momma, dadda, and ‘uck’ (his version of ‘yuck’…I thank baby Jesus every time he says it without an ‘F’ at the start). His favorite words to sign are: ‘eat’, ‘more’, ‘milk’, and ‘all done’…what more do you really need to say in life?

His favorite foods are pasta (definitely gets that from momma and her hips!), cantaloupe, and greek yogurt, and he hates avocado and spaghetti. You can tell when he dislikes a food, because he seals his mouth shut and vigorously shakes his head ‘no’ until you drop said food from the fork. Not a bad system if you’re him.

His favorite pastimes include dancing, shaking the lamp in the living room, and sleeping. That child will say ‘night night’ around 7:30pm, we put him in his bed, he puts himself to sleep, and slumbers for upwards of 12 hours. Every. Single. Night. Please refrain from throwing things at me in your sleep-deprived, zombie-like state. I know…we’re very lucky!

So with the basics covered, and yet another convincing promise to do a better job of posting more regularly, I leave you with what we all know you came here for…pictures!

The Great Poop Mystery of 2016

Parenting is tough. There's late nights, there's doctor appointments, and there's mass quantities of poop. Having kept our son alive and well for 6+ months, we feel that we have had our fair share of all of the above and have paid some parenting dues. But as we were taught last night, poop karma had other plans...

 

I had just picked Clark up from daycare and opened the front door after a long, hard day. I was greeted by the distinct aroma of a dirty diaper. It had been a hectic morning when we were trying to get everyone out the door, so I assumed in our haste, we had forgotten to throw away the first diaper of the day. After I set Bubba down and carefully scanned the living room for the culprit diaper, I realized that must be the case, as there was no diaper in sight.

 

My next best guess from my tenure as a parent was that our dog had had an accident. She has an incredibly delicate digestive system, and we were unable to get her to go to the bathroom before we left for work that day; usually a sure sign that we will be spending our evening shampooing and disinfecting a room of our house. I hadn't taken her out since I'd been home, so I was growing confident that Mia was the trouble maker. I scoured each room of the house, stopping to sniff every few moments, but I couldn't find anything.

 

Exhausted from the long work day, I settled into some pajamas and started to play with Clark. Every few minutes, I would get another distinct whiff of the foul smell. Clark has christened every article of clothing that we own with baby vomit, and on occasion, other bodily fluids, so it wasn't out of the realm of possibility that I was wearing remnants of a recent diaper change. Too tired to look any further, I lit a candle, changed pajama shirts, and relaxed.

 

Ryan came home not long after, and the moment he opened the door, he sniffed and made the same awful face I had an hour earlier. I exclaimed, 'I know! It smells like poop, but I can't find a stray diaper or wipe or even a gift from Mia!' Also exhausted, Ryan did a preliminary lap of all the places any of the above would usually be found, Febreezed the living room, and settled into the couch.

 

I handed the baby off and went to make myself a snack. Upon sitting down in the chair I had been in all evening, I looked at Ryan and nearly yelled, 'I just smelled poop again!' Feeling confident that a diaper had fallen down the back of the recliner, I leapt up, flipped the chair over, and starting taking in long, deep breaths. Hey - I smell a small person's butt several times a day, so smelling a chair didn't feel like I was stooping any lower than usual.

 

'I can't find it, but I swear there is a dirty diaper in this chair, Ryan!' The figurative lightbulb went off above both of our heads as we remembered that we had changed a dirty diaper in that very chair earlier that morning. Ever willing to help, Ryan handed Clark back to me and started digging in the chair himself.

 

A few seconds and a series of grunts that increased with intensity and disgust at each breath, my husband pulled his hand from in between the side and the cushion of the chair, and stood in the middle of our living room stoically. Mia jumped to her feet and had a sudden interest in Ryan's hand, while he stood there frozen like a statue, and the cold hard reality hit me. There was poop on his hand. Which meant there was poop in the chair. Loose, uncontained, God only knows how much poop. In the chair. Not on the chair, but IN the chair. Wedged. Smashed. Rotting even more than the original state of poop, which is awful in and of itself.

 

After Ryan unfroze and frantically washed his hands, my dear husband came back to the living room armed with baby wipes and plastic bags and heroically cleaned baby poop out from the inside of the chair I had been sitting in for hours. We deduced that a stray piece of poop had rolled out of the diaper and lodged itself between the arm and the cushion.

 

Tonight, I am thankful for a baby who is cute enough to help me forget this trauma, for a husband who isn't afraid to (literally) get his hands dirty so I don't have to, and for leather chairs. Seriously, thank you Jesus for leather chairs!

Clark is 3, 4, and 5 Months Old!

I've had months 3, 4, and 5 partially drafted both in my mind and on the blog, but we have been so dang busy enjoying this little bundle of joy, having grandparents in several times, and somehow managing to stay mostly present in our full time jobs that I have neglected documenting it all. So this post will be a recap of our last 90ish days...

Our baby is growing so fast! He is still pretty tiny for his age, and we often get asked if he was a preemie, which makes this momma a tad bit sensitive. Our pediatrician assures us that he is healthy and growing so we shouldn't worry, and I am trying to heed her advice. Clark has developed some rather scrumptious fat baby thighs, which is a nice change from the scrawny chicken legs we started out with. A funny story about his size is that in March, his friend T.K., who is 6 days younger than Clark, gifted him with some outfits that T.K. had outgrown. Clark is still wearing those outfits comfortably! I am happy to say, though, that at 5 months old, he has officially outgrown his newborn clothes.

He was measuring so small, in fact, that we had to set alarms through the night to wake him up and force him to eat. Starting at about 8 weeks, Clark tried to sleep 12 hours straight - we take our sleep pretty seriously in this family, even from a young age! At his 4 month appointment, we received the green light to let him sleep through the night, and it has been nothing short of glorious!

He is not a huge fan of being in the car, especially at red lights - he has a little road rage and will tolerate the car if we're driving continuously, but he voices his displeasure at having to stop for any reason. Speaking of voicing things, Clark has found his voice and will chat away with us several times a day. He especially likes to talk to his dad (he gets all the smiles, too!) - topics of interest include St Louis sports teams and Fender guitars.

Grandma and Grandpa Higdon made it to Iowa a few months ago, and have been soaking up as much Clark time as they can get. He particularly likes showing off for them; rolling from front to back for them at month 4 and refusing to do it for anyone else ever since. They watched him while mom and dad had our first overnight away, and I received a text that he was rolling front to back all morning. 5 weeks later, he hasn't done it a single time since. Just last week, they were also witness to him rolling back to front, and even caught it on video for us! True to form, Clark hasn't rolled over for anyone else to date.

He is starting to notice our dog Mia, which has been really fun to watch. He also looooooooves watching tv. His favorite programs so far are Cardinals baseball and anything on Bravo - he's definitely our kid! Daddy makes Clark cackle with laughter when he eats his belly, and he passes the time by eating his apparently delicious toes. He drools constantly, and has for about 8 weeks, but still no teeth. We can see those pearly whites through his gums, but they are stubborn little suckers who refuse to pop through!

Clark isn't quite to the stranger danger phase yet, but we have noticed that anytime someone else holds him, he looks awfully hard for mom and dad. We all met his baby cousin Reed recently, and I think he got a little jealous - as I snuggled Reed, Clark jabbered rather angrily in my direction until I picked him up as well. I think he was making his case for being an only child!

We spent our first Mother's and Father's Days hanging out with our little guy and being so very thankful that Clark is the reason we get to celebrate those days. He is the happiest baby I have ever met, and is so easy to care for. He only cries when he is tired or hungry, and is becoming so interactive and fun to play with.

I'm going to play the 'cute baby' card and hope that by overloading you with pictures, you will forgive me for the absence on here:

 

 

 

 

 

 

2 Months Old

It seems like just last week I was writing Clark's 1 Month blog post...oh wait, that's right, it was last week. I am in the running for Mom of the Month, so today's update is actually on the right day - Clark is two months old!

He weighs in at 10 pounds, 9 ounces and measures 22 inches long. He's in the 12th percentile for height and 8th percentile for weight - just a little guy! His pediatrician says he has a bright future ahead of him as a horse jockey! He still wears newborn clothes, but is inching closer to the 0 - 3 month size stuff. He eats 4 ounces every 4 hours, and Daddy has turned him into a diva who will only drink a warm bottle.

Some highlights from this month were starting Daycare, learning how to jibber jabber and tell lots of tales, and starting to sleep much better in his bassinet (as long as he is tightly swaddled in his baby straightjacket!). Clark got to attend his first Super Bowl party this month, and he has started smiling more and more every day. He also took another trip to Cedar Rapids with Momma to see his Aunts, Uncles, and cousins.

A couple of lowlights from his second month were attending Great Grandma Kay's funeral (but he did get to meet lots of family he hadn't seen yet), and getting his first cold.

His nicknames are still Bubba, Tooters, Clarkie, Booger Butt, and Daddy has added 'Clark Bar'. Clark Skypes with Grandma and Grandpa Higdon several times a week, and he smiles great big whenever Grandpa says, 'Packers, Packers, Packers!' so we either have a budding cheesehead on our hands, or he just thinks Grandpa is funny - the jury is still out.

He still looks very similar to his Daddy, although he did get his first 'You look just like your mom!' last week, so I guess that makes the final tally 843 votes for Dad and 1 for Mom. It's a tight race. His puppy dog, Mia, is a great big sister who watches over him during Tummy Time, kisses his nose every morning, and even lets Momma park Clark against her. Clark hasn't reciprocated the love quite yet, but we're confident he'll learn to love her as much as she loves him.

1 Month Old

I'm a week or two (or four) late - so sue me. I'm just a little busy with a newborn, a full time job, and a house and a life to keep in order.

 

 

 

Clark is one month old! He is 8 pounds, 4 ounces and measures 21 inches. He eats 3 ounces every 3 hours, sleeps (mostly) in his bassinet in between feedings, recognizes daddy's voice, and keeps his eyes firmly planted on his momma no matter who is holding him. His likes include sleeping, snuggling with mom and dad, eating, sitting in his bouncy seat, and taking warm baths. Clark's dislikes include diaper changes, being awake, and being in his swing while awake (double whammy!).

 

He is getting very good at grabbing onto things like a knitted blanket and momma's long hair, is a champion belcher (like, grown man beer drinking burps...impressive and a little gross all at once!), and he's finally starting to fill out his newborn clothes.

 

Some highlights from this month were: taking his first out of town trip to see Aunt Tammy, Uncle Bob, Aunt Robin, Morgan, Aunt Becky, and Nick and Janna, going to church for the first time and sleeping through the whole service except the music (just like when he was in mom's belly!), and being mom's assistant at work. Momma's co-workers love him so much that they are disappointed on days when I don't bring him with me!

 

A couple of lowlights from his first month were an unexpected hospital stay (all better now!), and having some of his hair fall out on top of his head while simultaneously battling his first bout of acne - a combination that momma has coined his 'teenage-slash-old-man phase'...luckily, this should pass quickly.

 

His nicknames are vast depending on who you ask, but the ones that seem to have stuck the most so far are 'Bubba' (from Momma), 'Tooters' (also from Momma), 'Clarkie' (from Daddy), 'Clark the Shark' (also from Daddy), and 'Booger Butt' (from Aunt Tammy). I'm sure he'll appreciate those in his senior yearbook!